We all have been accustomed to be attached to whatever we have acquired. Whether it was people we want to have or already have in our lives, or things we want to possess or already possess.
“Detachment is the absence of a need to hold on to anyone or anything. It’s a way of thinking and being that gives us the freedom to flow with life. Detachment is the only vehicle available to take you from striving to arriving.” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
You would think that for us knowing exactly what makes us happy and what makes us sad… We would be rational enough to choose the right path or make the right decisions. But we are always leaning to what cause us heartaches… Have you ever wondered why? I mean you know this person is not good for you., Why are you still there? You know this type of food isn’t good for your lifestyle but why are you consuming it?
We were raised to think that without certain things or people we are not complete. We were raised being told constantly that we should always get more because we “deserve” more.
It is as simple as wanting what you already have. When you find yourself saying “As soon as I get this car, As soon as I find the job of my dreams, As soon as I marry the perfect mate I will be happy……” Know for a fact that you will never be happy. You are not happy right this moment, what makes you sure you’ll be ‘happy’ when you get something more? Because the more we have, the more we want…
Usually when you attach yourself to things or others gives you the feeling of false control…. Because you usually attach yourself to the idea of someone or how things should happen. And when the slightest thing changes… This could lead you into thinking you lost control and will literally mess you up mentally and emotionally that will also lead to physical changes as well. When you attach yourself to others, you automatically hold them accountable for anything’s wrong that happens to you, makes you the “victim”. When you take control of your life detaching yourself from others emotionally will lead you into taking control of how you feel and what you think about…
When you attach yourself to things or people they somehow end up controlling your mood and that is not very healthy.
I fully believe that those who practice detachment can stand up faster after falling down or failing at something or breaking up/ending relationships with people….. than those who are completely attached….
Your happiness shouldn’t need a “reason” or “someone” to fill your heart. You should make sure that you are happy with or without.
Let’s first come to the fact that you own no one.. So attaching yourself to someone will give you the feeling that you own them, Detaching yourself from everything around you leads you to freedom.
How you know you are attached to something or someone:
You find yourself anxious, sad, hopeless, scared, angry, disconnected…..You always end up with the thought “If I don’t have that or them I am not complete…. Or I need that to be happy….
Everything in this life flows. Your need to control things will eventually mess them up.
You detach yourself from:
- Your thoughts
- Your relationships
- Your work
- Your things(Materials)
- Your past/future
When you detach you are allowing things to flow as they should.
Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to control everything in my life… Things started to become better than I wanted them to be. The moment I stopped attaching myself to people I saved myself a lot of heartaches and disappointments.
I haven’t felt more free than I do right now. I realized that I can only control myself and nobody owes me anything at all and I owe no one anything at all… And as I stopped attaching myself to the idea of how my life’s supposed to be.. I started living the life that I am having right now without any defensive thoughts or feelings of what’s happening… Whatever happens is not necessarily good or bad, it’s how we think about the things that determines if it’s good or bad.
- “Change your thoughts and you change your world”
- “Our futures are formed by the thoughts we hold most often. We literally become what we think about.”
- There is nothing either good or bad, but our thinking makes it so.”
- People and things don’t upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.”
When you truly realize that the quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life… Your time thinking negative thoughts would be reduced 100%……