Frenemy!

I’m not going to have a fancy opening or a long introduction. I am just going to jump right in.

We all know what are the characteristics of a bad person. And we usually avoid them when we see them. But imagine that “bad” person is your friend. Imagine someone so close to you is tearing you apart verbally without you knowing it. Someone who is constantly putting you down, even though thou you trust them not to. Someone who you keep your deepest secrets with.

A Frenemy is someone who actually does everything that an enemy would do but covers up in a friendly disguise.. If you never really focused on the small acts, you might actually miss it. As you continue living your life probably feeling less than good enough because of that “friend”.

False friends, those who you’ll find them only on your happy days, and only on their sad moments. They will most likely exclude you from their happy times and they will never be there for you in your bad days.

Knowing that their opinion matters, they will never give you any positive feedback on your life. They know how to put you down even in the smallest things.  You might think that they would be happy for your happiness or excited for your success. But their reaction is always the opposite. As you are happy expressing your feelings about your work promotion they are there like “eh, good … uhmmm.. ok…” You can clearly see a straight face. This type of friend will usually get jealous from you from anything and everything, you’ll find that somehow they will try to sabotage anything because of that jealousy.

A good friend will always be there for you, support you no matter the situation. A good friend will always be there for you both good and bad times. A good friend will be genuinely happy for you and won’t make you feel bad for succeeding in life, work and relationships. If there is something wrong, you’ll notice that they will tell you about it. A good friend will be honest, loyal, encouraging, supportive, helpful. They will go out of there away to make sure that they are there in your life. Will stick with you and for you.

A good friend is never jealous from you. Your happiness is theirs. Your success is theirs.

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Signs of a Frenemy

• They wouldn’t point out things that needed to be pointed out. For example your smudged mascara, stuff on your shirt…etc They rather having you looking like a fool.
• They will always make you feel that you’re wrong.
• They disguise their hate in humor. If you listen carefully to their comments it’s usually hate comments but they end up saying “haha, joking!”
• They are usually insensitive. You’d find them always having cold reactions… Which usually irritates you but you never confronted it.
• They will always make things as a competition and they usually want to win it.
• They always want to know your dirt.
• “A frenemy’s goal is not to help you succeed but to ensure that you fail.”
• There most common comments are usually to bring you down. You can never get anything positive out of them.

How to get rid of them.

Some people like me for example, I would definitely do it fast. I’d instantly cut off people who I ‘sense’ to be a frenemy. Personally, I wouldn’t allow anyone to bring me down. So imagine a close friend doing that.

Sometimes honestly is the best policy. Depending on how you take your relationships, you can easily let them know that you no longer want them in your life and that’s it.

But others would find it hard to detach from others, especially if you have a long relationship with this type of person so you start slow.

Avoid talking to them about personal stuff, then start slowly distancing yourself physically. then verbally until they’re no longer there.

Usually they won’t insist if you’re walking away but if some did… Just keep a strong feet while walking away.

 

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