Maybe I have spoken about this before but only briefly. I am usually considering the length of the post or content to make sure that it is always short and precise. This time I will keep on writing until I feel that I have proven my point.
I was triggered by a story told by the girl herself to me. So I just had to talk about this topic…
- What is it?
- Reasons someone becomes a bully
- Types of Bullying
- Have you been bullied?
First of all let me talk about it in general and how it works in our society.
We live in a world where parents tell their kids how perfect they are, how better they’re from everyone else, how they should be proud of their family ancestry, how they shouldn’t be friends with anyone who isn’t in the same level of wealth or social class as they are.
>It does limit the person into having couple of people to be friends with and will cause trust issues.. Also that person most likely feels alone even with everyone around them,,,,, And most importantly triggers that person to feel more superior than everyone else..
Most of what I read and know about bullying is that… The person himself has issues. They are either lonely, lack empathy.. or been bullied before. By siblings, parents….
There are a lot of causes that makes a child becomes a bully… here are some of them:
Like parents like child: If the parents are bullying the child at home. Most likely the child will take it out else where.
Powerless child: If the child is powerless at home. Most likely will be aggressive else where to gain back some power.
The entitled child: This one is raised with limitless power. And is given everything he wants. So he does feel entitled to do whatever, whenever he wants..
What is bullying:
It is when someone hurts another person physically or emotionally on purpose. Usually more than once… Bullying is when someone uses superior strength to influence or intimidate them by force to do something.
You find them enjoying humiliating others, especially those who are weaker, younger than them. Bullies are made not born… So this behavior can be changed…
And most likely it does happen at an early age of the child. If the child wasn’t monitored to see if he develops good social skills behavior.. If the child wasn’t taught how to be empathetic will most likely develop some bully behavior growing up.
Types of Bullying:
Hitting/pushing someone/Tripping/ yelling- screaming at someone/
Making fun of someone/laughing at them/starting rumors or telling fake stories about someone/ make someone feel bad about who and what they are
- Cyber Bullying
Cyber bullying is when bullying is done over technology. Using various social media platforms which happens almost all the time..everyday..
Sending mean messages to someone/posting false statements online about someone/ negative comments/agreeing with others when someone post something hurtful
Ok let’s do this…
You don’t have the right to force someone to do anything that they want to do.
If you have any idea of the damage that is happening due to bullying.. You wouldn’t think twice…..
The damage lasts a life time if not managed/fixed…. You have no idea how their self esteem would break.. They will find it hard to communicate. They will be discouraged to do anything and everything.. This would also lead to someone ending their lives because they lack the power to defend themselves… It is never funny or fun to hurt someone intentionally…..
No one ever deserves to be bullied. It is never ok or acceptable.
What makes you think that you’re better than anyone else? Honestly, what makes you believe that you could correct other people’s mistakes or do’s… Realize that what is right for you might not be right for them.. Your ways could be just another perspective to someone else. Everyone has the right to choose. You shouldn’t force your choices on others.
Let your kids know that we’r all humans, we’re all different in a way.. Embrace that.. It is ok not to be like everyone else.
Do not force your kids to have this feeling of the need to conform. Let them be friends with whoever they want… Don’t let the social class defines who is your friend and who’s not. Do not let the origin of a person limits you from getting to know them.
*Trying to blow someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours lit more… Realize that we’re all in this together…
Do you consider yourself a bully? OR think you’re superior….?
Think about the other person…. how would it feel?
Always think about the consequences of your actions..
Rethink what you say before you say it.. your actions before you do anything.
If you’re going through something.. Look for other ways to let go of those negative feelings.. Instead of putting it on others when they truly don’t deserve it… Try to find another way let go of your bad feelings.
Look at your friends. Maybe you’re being friends with bullies…“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Set goals in stopping what you do.. For example Commit in not gossiping starting today.. Or Force yourself to start saying at least something nice a day.. to anyone..
Remember: People will not remember what you said or did to them.. But they will never forget how you made them feel.
If you’ve been bullied or still are being bullied…
First of all , I am sorry for whatever that you have went through or going through….. It truly saddens me to see this is happening still..
Here is what you should do.. I know it’s hard.. but nothing is impossible and remember you deserve to live a good/happy life like everyone else..
First of all, Ignore… If the bullying continues, ask the person to stop.. If they didn’t stop; get help. Talk to someone about it. Someone who could make a change..
Know this…: If someone is trying to tear you down. it means that they’re already torn.. They’re only taking it on you.. You should truly feel sorry for them, pity them instead of getting scared or feeling threatened.
Some quotes I gathered that truly could change someone’s life/perspective:
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
— Robert Frost
“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
— Michael J. Fox
“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”
— Abraham Lincoln
The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”
— Jim Rohn
They will hate you if you are beautiful. They will hate you if you are successful. They will hate you if you are right. They will hate you if you are popular. They will hate you when you get attention. They will hate you when people in their life like you. They will hate you if you worship a different version of their God. They will hate you if you are spiritual. They will hate you if you have courage. They will hate you if you have an opinion. They will hate you when people support you. They will hate you when they see you happy. Heck, they will hate you while they post prayers and religious quotes on Pinterest and Facebook. They just hate. However, remember this: They hate you because you represent something they feel they don’t have. It really isn’t about you. It is about the hatred they have for themselves. So smile today because there is something you are doing right that has a lot of people thinking about you.”
— Shannon L. Alder