The ‘Me’ Disease

Brief: I am going to explain a:

  • Narcissistic personality.

  • Causes

  • Symptoms

  • Can it be changed?fixed?


narcissistic
ˌnɑːsɪˈsɪstɪk/
adjective
  1. having or showing an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance

 

The word narcissism comes from the story of Narcissus, a hunter in Greek mythology, who was well known for his beauty and for being completely in love with himself. His all-consuming self-love resulted in his eventual death, caused by his becoming so attracted to his own reflection in a pool that he was unable to stop staring at his image.

Narcissus-Magazine-Jody-Kelly.png

Too much of a self-centered attitude creates mistrust and suspicion in others, which can in turn lead to fear. But if you have more of an open mind, and you cultivate a sense of concern for others’ well-being, then, no matter what others’ attitudes are, you can keep your inner peace. – Dalai Lama


As a child getting abused, neglected and having parents criticizing fears and failures has a partial responsibility in building this personality. A lot has to do with that child hiding his low self-esteem by developing a superficial sense of perfection. Where the behavior is shown that the child seek constant admiration and in need to have the spot light on him at all times. Not developing empathy growing up is a real sign of developing a serious personality disorder as an adult.

It is an egocentric behavior that occurs as a result of low self-esteem. 

*It is developed as a defense mechanism to defend’s individual’s ego due to feeling inferior in situations. 

Those people are usually arrogant when they don’t get what they want.

I call it a disease because it really has no good positive effect whatsoever.

It actually causes:

  • Relationship difficulties> growing up.
  • Trust issue
  • Depression
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Problems at work/home

Spot a narcissist: (Symptoms)

  •  They’re always requiring constant admiration
  • They expect to be recognized as a superior even without achievements.
  • Being busy with fantasies about success, power, or the perfect mate.
  • Being envious of others..And claiming others envy them.
  • Behaving in a very arrogant manner
  • They’re always blaming others for their faults.
  • They love to playing the victim.  (( “t’s twisted and ugly, and terribly damaging to those on the receiving end who are in the position of looking to the narc as a loving caregiver and who are vulnerable to believing the lie.” ))

They are always on a defense mode. They mainly think that everybody is out to get them. They’re also extremely opinionated. It is always about what they think. Due to their self-absorption, consumed by their own point of views, desires and preferences.

They also don’t have long-lasting relationships. Since all what they think is about themselves.. They have less time to worry and think about others. They mainly use people as tools to get what they want. Anything more than that is out of their self-centered circle which makes it irrelevant.

Can it change? Can it be fixed?

“When we focus on ourselves we are destined to be unhappy. As long as you’re too focused on your self-importance and too caught up in thinking about how good or bad, you will experience suffering.” – The book of Joy

If maybe… after this post you somehow admitted it to yourself that somehow you might be self conceded, self-centered… There is hope for you.

It may take a long time but if you’re willing to change then it’s not impossible.

  • The best cure to narcissism is Talk therapy. You might think you need actual medicine but no.. You need to talk about it. Either to a close person or a therapist.  (It is ok to get the help you need)
  • You need to acknowledge your disorder and seek help. There is a way out of the ‘me’ land. Realize that we’re all in this together. Try to understand others from their point of views. Listen to reply rather than just waiting for the other person to finish talking so you get to talk..
  • Accept your flaws, admit them to yourself and maybe to others? it is ok to show your imperfections.
  • Heal from your past. Know that you’re in the now… Stop holding grudge over people who mistreated you in the past and start fresh and new starting today. Forgiving others will give you some peace of mind..
  • Accept criticism. It is ok to be wrong and listen to others when they point out your wrongs. Accept it and welcome it. work to improve yourself always.
  • Learn to love. Making people love you in a certain way because that’s how you like it will never lead you to any real relationship in your life. Love and be loved freely and genuinely..  People shouldn’t look a certain way or act in a way so you could accept them or feel that you’re ok with them… Embrace the differences. Let go of feeling superior on others and know that we’re all equal.

Know the difference

Self love VS Self Absorbed

People who love themselves don’t have the need to show it to people. It shows without any actions. They respect themselves. They rely on nothing external but to always improve themselves. Also, Self love fueled by inner strength and inner peace. And they are most likely to always be there for other people wanting to help and serve them..

Unlike self-absorbed, they may appear to be over-confident and in control but in reality they are very weak. They also have a hard time in finding their self value. They have no idea of who they really are internally. Self absorbed people are unstable. 

 Egotism VS Humility

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking about yourself less

“If you live a life as if everything is about you … You will be left with just that.”

Self Confidence vs Arrogance

Self confident person is aware of their strengths and weakness.

They are ok with looking like a fool because they are aware of their worth

A confident person lifts and encourages and is aware that the boat fits all.

Has a positive vibe and energy

A confident person talks to powerful people because he does not doubt the value of his ideas.

An arrogant person usually talk to powerful people because he want to be seen standing with them. They always want to show that they are right and anyones opinion is irrelevant to theirs.

Arrogance is usually founded in weakness and it feeds on insecurity.

“Arrogance requires advertising. Confidence speaks for itself”… You see a person always speaking about themselves at all times.


How I personally deal with a narcissist?

– I don’t.

 

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