In the beginning let me first say that all the negative emotions can be positive if used/directed right.
Anger… It is an ugly emotion, no one really likes feeling angry.. Or being angry at.
Of course as usual I love speaking more about my experiences rather than just speaking in general. I have spent my teen life being silent, but where did the anger go? I used to get angry within myself with no way of showing it externally. And this is probably the worst way possible… It is like something eating you from the inside.
With that being said, it took me quite a while to stop feeling angry with myself, others, and life in general.
Overcoming my anger issues made me realize that I was mainly angry at myself and I was extremely disconnected internally… I knew for a fact that I was always dissatisfied… Whether it was with everyone around me or with what’s happening in my life. Choices I made unconsciously that made me really angry at everything…. I wasn’t happy at that time and I was always rushing through life. I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t doing something… my hands were always full but I was never fulfilled.
I remember reading a lot of quotes by the one and only Dalai Lama, and until recently (3 to 4 years) I received a book and bought the other one.
The Book of Joy / The Art of Happiness….
Those two books are undeniably amazing and a true reason for my spiritual growth. I honestly became more tolerant to things that happens to me. I became more aware that whatever happen, they are actually happening for me and not ‘to’ me. God’s plan is way more better than the one I have planned. One incident in my life actually proved that to me. We might want something so bad but we’ll always end up with what we ‘need’.
Two words you should focus on…Patience and Tolerance.
They won’t come easy.. But when you’re in the journey of expanding your awareness and consciousness, it won’t be as hard. But let me explain things first; How I see it is that,
- it is not an excuse for you to be angry at people just because you had a rough day.
- It is not an excuse for you to be angry at others just because you did not have an ideal childhood.
- It is not an excuse for you to be angry at people just because you don’t feel like dealing with them.
Once you truly take charge of your life you will grow in a way that you will not be pointing the blame on others. You will find yourself trying to think of a way through it.
The way I do it is that I will always try my best to see the situation from someone else’s shoes… I will always think to myself what is going on in that person’s life that’s making them act so foolish… I tend to pity and feel sorry for them now instead of getting angry…
The key is to truly and intentionally realize your negative feelings and express yourself in that matter without building up anger. If something makes you upset speak about it. Let it out… Let go of the the things that aren’t serving you well… Your health should always come first.
It is ok not to be right at all times. I discovered that I felt more better when I accepted not being right all the time and I find myself agreeing to disagreeing made more sense. The less you take things personally, the better you felt. Not everyone is running after you or pointing things at you…. And even if they’re literally pointing at you it could be just them… Whatever we say or do is a reflection of who we are. So take that and apply it on others, whatever they do it’s only a fact of who they are… If they don’t respect you; it’s because they’re disrespectful.
You don’t have to deal with people who belittle you, move on…
That is how I minimized the times I got angry… I stopped dealing with people who made me feel hard to love or just simply depreciated me… And started to surround myself with more loving, caring and nurturing kind of people.
We tend to cling and hold on to things that we’re supposed to let go…. Maybe you mentally hold that fight you had with your friend or loved one as if you’re always in need of a reminder…. holding on to things; especially the negative situations, will always get you angry on the spot.
Sometimes you blame your sleeping pattern or maybe you haven’t had your “coffee” yet. Well, let me break it to you, it’s nobody’s fault but your own. You can’t walk around feeling angry and lashing out at people…. it is your responsibility to sleep right and once you realize that you haven’t had your coffee yet, pause what you’re doing, get your coffee and continue with your day. It is you, not the coffee by the way so don’t let that fool you.
You may not control getting angry but you are responsible of how you react to anger.
Anger could really be a source of motivation and could lead you to work even harder. So you’re angry about your weight? you’ll work harder at the gym… You’re angry about your grades, you’ll study more for the next exam or so….,
But getting angry at people won’t hurt them as much as it hurts you…
It took me few years to reach to where I am right now because I had no one to show me the way… But I am grateful for this inner peace I have and I would not shake that for anything at all..
Once you know how inner peace (mentally, emotionally, physically) feels like.. You would not compromise it at all.
**Here are some inspirational quotes I picked for you regarding #Anger….
“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”
“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”
“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”