It took me a while as I am sitting here staring at the blank page to decide how I am going to start this….
I decided to just be straight forward so there you go,
One of the mantra’s I have lived by as I still do it is to ‘Live and let live’. It means so much to me. To be able to create an environment where it is ok for me to be myself because I do accept others as they are, so I want the same thing for me ‘obviously’. So this balance is important for my mental and emotional health.
I think it all started when I was a person who wasn’t heard, someone who was overlooked. One day long time ago I have decided to work on myself and to be able to support others in better ways; for them not the have the feelings I had. Also, to inspire them to be the better versions of themselves.
It is not my job to fix every term that society created. But I do believe that I will do whatever it takes to make myself and others feel that it is ok to live happily despite them.
I was sharing parts of something I was creating. And it went something like this:
“To genuinely appreciate who we are. As we are growing up we have been taught to conceal our ‘flaws’ in order to be accepted rather than celebrating our individuality without worrying of this acceptance.” And then I wrote on the side as in examples of what the society considers a flaw:::’ big bones?, curly hair?, acne face?, awkward laugh?, fast eating?’ and the list goes on.. And probably all the quirky things that make you who you are. I did not say that I myself consider those things as flaws.
The message I wanted to share was to believe in yourself and to live believing you are beautiful and it is ok to completely be yourself without concealing or changing anything that the society had you thinking is/was a flaw just so you would feel accepted and loved by others.
After a while from me posting this in my instagram story, I have received a message from a complete stranger pointing out how I considered “curly hair” to be a flaw… And some of her words weren’t really directed to me because she was blaming her family for making fun of her ‘big curly frizz’ as she mentioned in the message but the message was for me >> how and why I added the ‘acne and curly hair” ‘to my list.’ when sharing that piece that I handwritten.
I don’t have a list grouping people to decide whether they are worthy or not if that’s even a thing?. Secondly, I did not make the terms or considered those to be flaws or not. My intention was clear that I wanted people to be able to live despite having those terms as flaws or faults being thrown at them.
Also, her words were verbally abusive in some lines so I found this a bit odd, and disrespectful. And the irony around the end she said ” Sorry but I have lost all respect to you”…..
I consider myself to be a good analyzer. And I am completely ok with everything that she said because I did not take it personally. Even though she did not allow me to elaborate on the things I have written and instead came straight accusing me of being a complete lunatic throwing shades on people with curly hair or acne not considering that I have curly hair as well. We should always ask people around if they meant what they said or was there another explanation….. But this girl went straight forward blaming society, her family and myself for ‘shaming’ other people. Which is something I wouldn’t blame her for in the first place.
I am almost sure that she has some issues with her self and I don’t want to be a person who adds up to it because she was very defensive in her long message. And only hurt people hurt other people.
To be someone who goes and point out something like that to a complete stranger without asking for their explanation in case they meant something else means that in your day to day life you are not allowed or able to express yourself freely. So somehow you got this built up negativity you want to use as a defense the chance you get. I was your aim because I wrote the words you wanted to see.
I am at peace with myself. Nothing others say has a negative impact on me unless I allow it. The sooner I started realizing things from others point of views, I became more tolerant to their behavior but I do set a limit to want gets in my circle. And I know that a lot of the things people do is only a reflection of how they actually feel about themselves and not because of me in specific. With that being said, I am aware of my intentions and actions. It took me a long way to become this content. I don’t really want to get into details but growing up, I was abused verbally being told that I should be someone who is completely the opposite of who I am right now. And for me to keep my feet grounded and insist that I am who I am took a lot of strength internally.
One of the main topics that I am focused on always is “psychology” This field interests me like no other. If time goes back I would have definitely changed major to became a therapist. Growing up I had not even one single person to share my thoughts or feelings let alone a professional help. And right now I have platforms and the world to listen to me. Yet, I did not use this as a hurtful place for me to share my pains and sorrows. I used it to share love, support and care.
No matter what someone goes through growing up; other people should not suffer for that. There is no excuse for anyone out there to be a hurtful, abuser verbally, physically or emotionally just because they went through similar pains when you were younger.
“If you can’t say something nice; say nothing at all.”
Many of the problems that is caused by people, relationships and friendships is “misunderstanding and a lack of comprehension or communication.
I have met and made friends over the internet. As much as it is being said that social media platforms aren’t good. A lot of goodness do comes from it. It all goes back to your usage and the people you get to know. I am grateful to be able to confidently say that I love and care about many people that I have never thought I would. Respect, support and appreciation are three things those relationships are based on.
If you have been reading my work for a while. My thoughts whether on Instagram captains or my blog posts you would definitely know what kind of a person I am.
Let me take the time to share with you a few of posts I have written over the years in case you missed them.
Some of those posts go back to at least 4 years. I have been sharing love and support the moment I have realized that I do have an influence on others.
It is never about the quantity of people. The quality of people you should surround yourself with is more important than how many are around you. And I have only allowed the right ones for my emotional and mental health to walk with me side by side. All those who cause the stress in me to light on fire; I with all my heart make sure to walk them out the door. Nobody has time for that.
We have been told that life is hard, stressful and full of bad things.
To be aware of your existence and to work more on your mental and emotional state.
To surround yourself with the right quality of people, life will definitely be a lot easier and smoother and even when the times are hard, because of those good people around you; it won’t seem so bad.
We can’t control what happens in our lives, but we definitely control how we react to it.
I will never consider myself anything but a thriver, a survivor and a lover.
May I have the ability to always be forgiving.
May I always be kind, loving and supportive
May I be the person people rely on for an emotional and a mental boost.
May the life I lead becomes a message that no matter how small you are; you are capable of sharing the goodness all over the world and show them that it is ok to be you. who ever you are.