Your mind is such a phenomenon. We usually underestimate our mental strength and settle for what is known to us. We get used to certain feelings or thoughts and cling to them as if everything will end the moment we let go.
Today I will be sharing my thoughts on worry/guilt and how we are used to stressing out and feeling guilty that it might as well feel normal. We let those feelings take a toll on us and we infuse it in all that we do. We also let those feelings control our actions and choice taking. Even if you wanted to choose one thing you would either feel guilty for choosing it or spend time worrying after picking a certain choice. This behavior is infused since we were little and you can unlearn it.
There are three dimensions I want you to focus on
The past _____ The Present_____The Future
The past might be a beautiful place to reminisce all the good things that have happened or you could also think of all the wrong things that you have done or things that you haven’t; but the past will always be a thing is done and finished. It is not a place that you could visit to fix things. No matter how hard you thought you could it is not possible to go back and change the past.
The future is something that hasn’t happened yet. So again, it is not something you could really control. A lot of us spend a long amount of time stressing over things that not only haven’t happened but might not even happen. We devote too much time into stressing and overthinking about all sort of things; things we can control like our behavior, thoughts ,emotions actions and reactions. And things that we have no control over like other people’s choices, other’s feelings, actions and reactions..
Anxiety is no fun it is a serious thing that shouldn’t be ignored. I have written about this before click here if you are interested in reading that piece. Anyways, To spend time being anxious on things that you know you don’t have control over; you are only taking minutes off your life. All this time gone is not refundable. When you truly think really smart about that, you will honestly start taking care of yourself more and the way you behave and your attitude towards everything that happens ‘to’ you. In the end you know that time’s gone isn’t coming back. And the more you start thinking how in life things do happen ‘for’ you whether they align with your standards or no. You will end up shifting your way of thinking and your whole state of mind will come right here right now.
Now we are speaking about the real deal. The actual thing that will probably set you free. Based on my experience and a little bit reading here and there I tell you, there is nothing more joyful, magical and amazing than to always be here in the present moment. It is hard, you will need to be consistent and to have your conscious aware at all times; because it will drag you to the past of the future. And spending time stressing or feeling guilty over both or each is just completely a waste of time.
How to be in the Present?
- Focus on what’s happening to you at the moment and deal with it accordingly.
- If you have something coming up like a presentation? job interview? a wedding?…. Prepare yourself prior and that’s about it. If things were going south they would whether you stressed about it or not. So when you prepare yourself make sure that you are ready for all sorts of results….. Know that your ‘overthinking’ isn’t going to do anything to better your situation, it will only kill your energy…. And who needs that?!
- Declutter. Sometime’s we own too many things that ties us to the past and the moment you start letting go of those things you will somehow feel a bit relieved. I’ve tried that and it did work. Even though some of the things were in the drawers but knowing that they aren’t there anymore gave a sense of freedom I can’t explain how.
- Forgive yourself for your past mistakes;
We are all bound to make mistakes and it is ok to be wrong at times. When you truly forgive yourself for what you have done or haven’t done, you allow yourself to move on. When you let go, you actually give yourself the permission to move forward without having to drag your feet. - It is ok not to be ok. When at times you find yourself feeling down or lonely or lost or tired. It is ok. I remember I read one quote by Arundhati Roy she said that “If we were to lose the ability to be emotional, if we were to lose the ability to be angry, to be outraged, we would be robots. And I refuse that.” And I loved it. Because it is ok to be emotional, angry, outraged, sad, frustrated and heartbroken. Allow yourself to take time to heal but you get yourself back up. Being in the present moment is to realize that being down is no place to stay for a long time. Because “emotions are visitors let them come and let them go.”
- I am a strong believer in the saying ” If you can’t change something, change the way you think about it.” Because we truly don’t realize how our brains are truly amazing. The moment you realize that there are things in life you can’t change some things, when you instantly change the way you think about them will definitely change your attitude in life.
In a nutshell the cure and antidote for worry and guilt is to keep being in the present.
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May you live your life in the present moment because the future isn’t here yet and the past has passed. Shift your thinking into realizing you have control over yourself only. Changing your way of thinking will change the way you see things that will end up changing your behavior towards the things. You really don’t want to live a life walking around worried at all times or feeling guilty for things you did or thought of….. Life isn’t that complicated. Be around the people you like and like you back. Be around the people who support you, be around those who truly care about you and infuse you with positivity and good energy. Let all your choices reflect your desire to create the life you truly deserve. Other than that what’s the worse that could happen? because Guilt And worry are useless emotions.
“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you
can’t solve it, then what is the use of worrying?“
Xo, S
A Coffee Shot 