My last blogpost was about how not to stretch yourself into halves because you are a whole all by yourself. You don’t need to run after people and align with their lifestyle just to feel that you are somebody.
I asked the people on Instagram on what should my next blogpost be, and a fellow lady mentioned something about the blog post published; How I kept saying “find yourself first” Now, how do we do that?
Let me begin by saying that “finding yourself” doesn’t mean there is a fixed self that you need to run around trying to find “it” and when it’s found voila!
Finding yourself means learning about yourself/creating yourself
How many people you know can’t even decide whether they like hot or cold coffee? Their answers are always “I don’t know”
How many people you know think that they deserve to be treated badly?
How many people you know that are unaware of how strong they are but won’t do a thing about it because they cannot see that strength?
And the list goes on…..
- The first thing you need to focus on is to stop complaining. Your life is your responsibility. The more you take control the more you boost your confidence.
- Embrace solitude. A lot of people are scared to be alone. They don’t understand that being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. I know it might be hard for some of you but you need to start liking your own company. In the end (You are all you’ve got.)
- Accept yourself for the things you are and for the things you are not. Nobody’s perfect but nobody’s You! Now that’s your advantage.
- What are you passionate about? Some people are born artists, others make their way to being one.
- Let go of the need to be accepted and loved by everyone. It is never going to happened. You got to love yourself first for all your rights and wrongs. Especially for the things you have done in your past. You are not there anymore… You are here, today. Not wanting to move on is like standing in front of an open door but you won’t step out. even though you are capable of doing that.
- Make conscious decisions. Don’t just do things randomly all the time. Know why you’re doing things.
- Learning about yourself means that there are things you should do and things you shouldn’t. Things you accept other people do around you and things you reject.
- Learning about yourself means that you set morals and values and to live by them. Not to be changed or quickly to switch opinion because of a personal gain.
- Understand you personality. When you are upset, why you got upset? What triggers you? what makes you joyful? you might think that it’s not necessary to know those things but things like that will lead you to quitting what is unhealthy for you and sticking with things that are good for you.
- Check your surrounding. Your environment helps create or demolish you. You can’t be around people who knock you down constantly, Some people can’t handle the idea of seeing you succeed and trust me on this people would and could do anything just so you won’t be better than them. One of my favorite Les Brown’s quotes I cannot remember the exact words…. but it went something like::: “People’s opinion of you shouldn’t be your reality.”
- Finding yourself means you lose yourself in the service of others, as #Gandhi said. when you help serve others you end up gaining perspective. Makes you less centered and it humbles you in many ways. This will let you connect with your humanness
- Don’t stress to state your thoughts and feelings even if people aren’t agreeing with you.>> To know myself is to know my choices and to be confident about them. So what I usually do when I state my thoughts(with confidence) I end up agreeing to disagreeing. Unless somehow a person can change my choice within reason, I am sticking with it.
- “All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. “
This quote above actually sums it up.
After all, finding yourself is an ongoing process. I know I keep mentioning this but it is true, “You are always becoming as long as you are alive.”
And sometime’s learning about yourself means unlearning everything you were taught from your early ages.
May your journey be filled with things that will help you be wiser, stronger, happier, thoughtful and a loving person.