It all comes down to wanting something to be exactly as you want it to be. This obsession makes you think that you’re on top and always number one. With time you cannot accept anything less than that. The more you achieve that harder for you to be ok in losing or failing which eventually will cause you to be overwhelmed and disappointed.
Wanting to improve and asking questions like “How can I make this better?” or “How can I fix that?” and also by having the ability to accept criticism. This is not perfectionism.
>>Wanting things perfect and stressing over the idea of it… This is perfectionism
Perfectionism is a real thing and it’s not a happy thing…
I have seen couple of my friends stress over anything in life to go as they want it to go. Even the slightest things. So imagine if whatever that they had in mind didn’t go as they wished…. The stress level is over the top. I have read that some get sick. This whole idea of perfecting things is insane. And not just that; it did make me wonder if we truly wanted something to be perfect let’s say ourselves?? Wouldn’t that mean that there won’t be room for improvement and growth? Wouldn’t that mean that there won’t be any room for maturity? Let’s say that we ascend to that level and whatever that peak is titled let’s say ‘perfection’ wouldn’t there be time for it to drop down? and descend? That happens to almost anything and everything… Even in product life cycle. If you’re studying business you’d know what I’m talking about. When the product first launch it goes through a cycle. It gets introduced to the market, then there is the phase of growth that’s when people start’s noticing it.
Then it peaks to maturity level.. Meaning the sold out phase. At this time a lot of products are getting produced, newer versions and so.. It ends by getting declined that means the sales dropped.
So, imagine that’s your life. Imagine if you want to perfect it in all ways possible instead of just normally going through bumps in life leveling up and dropping every now and then in a normal pace.. You drop from that peak to nothing.!
And not to forget the weight of disappointments and desperation state you’d be in at all times.
When you want to perfect things, you don’t have those hopes of ‘maybe it’s going to happen maybe it won’t’ kinda feel… You’d have that determined mindset of _”it has to go right”…. And that there is no other way but that way.. Your way.. So you end up not doing a lot because it’s either your way or no way…
And when it comes to perfectionists, I believe that somewhere in their lives they have been told over and over again that they weren’t good enough so they grow up thinking perfecting things would actually make people be emphasized on the idea that they are “too good” and this would give them somewhat of a security.
Why perfectionism isn’t a good thing?
- It prevents you from actually growing and maturing because you’ll be stuck at that exact spot you call “perfect”
- Thinking “you’re perfect” kind of gives you a sense that you know everything and nobody knows “everything” you might know everything about something in particular but not everything about everything.
- Studies have shown that perfectionists have higher blood pressure, mental health problems, depression and anxiety.
- As a perfectionist you might not start anything in life because of fear that it won’t work out the way you want. So you end up delaying a lot of things in your life, relationships, work…etc
How to beat perfectionism?
- Allow yourself to be wrong.. Even in the smallest things. Don’t try hard to be accurate right away… I know it may feel weird just try to embrace that feeling of being wrong.
- Join a team. maybe in your workplace? Or in life (in general) ; Accept the fact that you can lose in a game or in a project.
- Plan failing. Yes, try to do some new activities that you have no idea how to do so you’ll fail many times until you’d get it right. So this will also teach you how to find new different ways to make it work.
- Talk loudly and celebrate your mistakes. Admit that you were wrong and you’ve done something wrong and ask for help.
I believe that to be completely yourself is key. We’re naturally flawed. We get clumsy sometimes, we forget things, we break things and the list goes on. Stressing over things needing them to be perfect will only make you feel worse.
At the end of the day perfectionism is impossible because everything grows and changes…
You don’t have to be flawless to be worthy….! Obsessing over the need to be perfect shouldn’t make you feel “worthy”.. You got to believe that you truly are.. minus being perfect.