Loneliness & Solitude

There is a huge misconception about someone who feels lonely and someone who wants to be alone. Growing up I got to experience both. I have got to tell you that feeling lonely is not healthy.. If you are someone who actually feels lonely; this one is for you.

To be lonely is different from being alone.(Solitude)

When you are lonely you are hurting, you feel pain and agony. You feel sad along with the fear of not being accepted or included.

When you are in a solitude state or “alone” You can be physically alone but connected with yourself.

Remembering my feelings and thoughts growing up it was more destructive than productive. I didn’t feel good about myself at all and that was a huge part that made me feel lonely. Because I did not accept myself for who I am. So it kind of led me to stress and over think a lot, which also caused me to be depressed. I barely spoke a word thinking I would always get misunderstood. Remembering those years of my life could give me a headache right now.

With time I started seeing both sides of me the good and the ugly. As I am growing I started fixing what could be fixed, and accepted those things that I cannot change. With time, I have reached total acceptance for who I am and what I am. I have accepted other people for who they were as well. When you feel lonely it’s also because you are on a defense mode. Feeling lonely is caused by your attitude. Sometimes when you’re negative and judgmental could lead you thinking that you are special or better than anyone else around you, and this could let you distance yourself from others. This is why you see a lot of famous people claiming that they feel lonely, even with the crowd. Because when they distance themselves with time it could lead them to distrust and be cautious from others; That itself could have you living a life feeling paranoid, angry, stressed, fearful and most importantly lonely.

“You can spend three years, three months, and three days in a cave and not be lonely, but you can be lonely in the middle of the crowd”

It takes courage to open your heart and be welcoming to others. Even though we’re all different… We cannot forget that we’re all humans.

It is really important to take time off people and be alone with yourself. The sooner you realize that it is all in your head, you’ll realize that it’s just about shifting perspective. It might be hard in the beginning but with time you’ll find that it is ok to be alone and stop feeling lonely.

You don’t have to sit in an empty room and stare at the walls….

There are a lot of things you can do when you’re alone. For me I actually started reading and this itself has helped me a lot in forming my personality and changing my life path. It could be anything to you; walking, drawing, exercising, writing…etc

Love your own company..

If you are not comfortable to be on your own, you’ll settle for less than what you deserve. Getting some alone time to get to know yourself will make you rethink a lot of things you’re doing and change a lot of your current life choices because most likely you’re doing them according to the people around you….. You’ll stop accepting things because it is accepted socially, or do things because everyone else are doing them. You wouldn’t mind having to choose something that’s good for you even it isn’t for somebody else.

**I find myself really comfortable going out and taking a day off away from everyone that I love, care about because I do need time to recharge. And those times away have helped me to be more aware and there for those people…

You’ll find it easy to relate and tolerate a lot of people’s choices and way of thinking because they simply aren’t harming you in any kind of way. So, instead of being defensive you’ll just be accepting.

Sometimes I’d disagree with someone about something, so instead of making a war about it I just agree to disagree.. They don’t have to convince me and I don’t have either.

>>Life goes on. 

You don’t have to take a week off people… Try small amount of times in the beginning for example: 30 minutes a day then move it up to 45….until you find it comfortable to be able to take a day off. We need people. I don’t think what I am saying could by any means mean that people aren’t important or that we are better off them… No, It’s just that we should feel ok if they’re not around…

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“How is it that some celebrities, whom the average person would believe to have all the popularity a human being could want, still admit to feeling lonely? It is quite naive to assume that popularity is the remedy for loneliness. Loneliness does not necessarily equal physical solitude, it is the inability to be oneself and rightfully represented as oneself.” 

“We aren’t lonely because we are alone; we are lonely because we have failed in our solitude.” 

“There is a difference between
loneliness and solitude,
one will empty you and
one will fill you.