Being a young lady myself I get to sit with a lot of women and young girls. My usual surroundings are mainly women. So I truly get to see how a lot of them feel about one another or act around each other…
Living in my society I found myself being weird because growing up I have never developed any jealousy feelings from others(especially from other girls). I never envied anyone for having something more than I did or looked better in a way. and so on. I have always focused on bettering myself and improving myself in all the possible ways.
Why did I say weird? because many of those around me didn’t see things as I did. No, I never thought of myself as better than anyone else, but I never saw anyone else as a competition. That is why I never felt the need to compete; I rarely took things personal; when it came to other girls. How they look or where they are… It’s up to them, it’s for them, as it has nothing to do with me.
Personally, I think it is just too much energy wasted.
So, When I say that I have worked my way up to empower fellow ladies, I did it genuinely.
Yesterday was International Women’s Day. So it triggered me to speak about this. Honestly speaking the amount of hate between women is crazy….. many of them go out of their way to ruin another girl’s life… Or kill their self-esteem. In schools they would make fun of other girls, calling each other names… And so on….
First you need to be ’empowered’ that means:
- You can’t support others if you aren’t supporting yourself.
- Do what you love and take all the time to get to know yourself, because when you’re steady you can calm the shaky one’s around you.
- You must have the confidence. You can’t empower others if you’re not confident in what you’re doing, what you’re saying or basically who you are.
- Stand for what you believe in. Your values and principles means something. Don’t change them because they don’t go along with the values of those around you.
- Be independent.
- Be honest and forward about what you think.
- Don’t say maybe if you mean No.
Personally, I think it has a lot to do with yourself.. For you to have the ability to be a truly empowering person you honestly need to realize how amazing you are. You need to know that you are good enough.. You are worthy of all the good things in the world. You need to believe that you matter and you are as special as any other person around you. Don’t see yourself better than others and don’t belittle yourself. Balance is all you need to save all that energy that is wasted on the wrong things.
>>Realize this:
Nobody is perfect, not even yourself. You have no right to highlight other people’s imperfections just because it bothers you…
How to empower and support others?
There are may ways to support other girls for example: emotionally, verbally, financially….etc
- Be there for your friends, sisters or any family member when needed. Sometimes our opinions don’t actually matter as much as saying to someone who we are there for you no matter what.
- Boost other girls self-esteem. Acknowledge their existence.
- Let them know that they look good or whatever they’re wearing is nice.
- Sometimes you find yourself trying to be positive but it’s the other way around.. For example:
- Just lose few more Kilo’s and oh my,,, you’ll look nice.
- If only your hair was longer, you’d look perfect…
This doesn’t really help, if you’re not showing love for what you’re seeing at the moment. There is no “if only” || I always go with the ” If I cannot say anything nice, I’d say nothing at all”
- Jealousy will harm you more than others. If you’re confident about yourself no one else can shake you up.
- Speak up. Not all of us are verbally able to defend ourself. So when you see a situation where a girl is being mistreated, be there to speak up for her.
*I hope one day we will get to live in a world with less hatred and anger. And instead this world would be filled with more love, support and respect.
Don’t just be the change you wish to see in the world, help others see that change so they can help you as well.
A Coffee Shot 