There are two types of people, those who are aware of their strengths and weaknesses which makes them confident and ok in making mistakes because that’s how they know they’ll learn. And those who are full of themselves and will never learn from their mistakes because they believe that they don’t make any.
& if you noticed we usually don’t get to see the whole picture, only our point of view. So we tend to trust our loved ones or close people to confront us when we’re doing something wrong.
But there are those people who think that they never do anything wrong, won’t allow anyone to correct them. And that action itself would be taken personally.
So, what does criticism mean? Google says that it is “the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived faults or mistakes.”
There are two types of criticism:
Constructive Criticism
It is when something is said to improve someone’s outcome. It rebuilds, fixes, encourages and gives a positive push to the person intended.
Someone is criticizing your action and not ‘you’ personally. They want you to do better. Constructive criticism is usually given from your managers at work, people who love you and want you to improve in both work/life.
Destructive Criticism
Destructive criticism is usually given to bring down the person. Those negative comments are said to destroy someone’s confidence. You’d know that it is destructive by seeing the critic is mainly firing at the person instead of their action and not given the person any ways of how to improve their actions.
When the criticism is not specific; someone speaks of your action in a general way, not giving you a chance to improve yourself; that is destructive.
Why some people accept criticism and others don’t?
I’ll put it this way. Most of us love to be complimented at all times that they cannot handle being criticized at all. And if anyone say’s anything to point out their negative action, they would usually take it very extremely personal. They could actually fight with someone or break their relationship up because they had the audacity to say something bad about them. Those people aren’t really sure about themselves. Even though they seem full of it. Those who cannot accept criticism are usually less confident and don’t have any plan to improve.
Those who usually accept criticism whether it was positive or negative, are people who are aware of themselves. Those people seek improvement in their everyday life.
They are willing to listen closely to see if there’s anything actually wrong with whatever that they have done. They are confident. It is ok to listen to any negative comment if you know yourself fully, negative words wouldn’t have any impact on you. But if you’re not sure about yourself, any word would shake you up.
How to face criticism?
So when you are facing someone who is bluntly criticizing you stop there and:
1- Don’t react too fast.
Take a moment and think about their words and what are they ‘actually’ saying.
2-Listen to understand their point of view and not only to reply..
Because usually at that moment we get a bit defensive. So take a breath, stay calm and gather your thoughts before replying.
3- Understand the benefit of feedback.
If you are fully aware of your action and 100% sure about it.. Then the criticism shouldn’t mean a thing. But when you’re not actually sure.. Take a moment to seek a different opinion.
4- Try asking questions to get a clear vision of what the other person is saying.
Instead of standing there listening to someone criticizing you. Try asking questions like:
- How do you think I can make it better?
- In what way you think this failed?
- What are other options if not this…..?
We are going to get criticized. And if you never started learning how to deal with criticism… we will always be on a defensive mode and we will not really improve in any way possible..
It is ok to be wrong but it is not ok to stay wrong.
Get to know yourself and learn to be confident in your steps. Don’t be easily shaken by others words…
Know how someone is talking to you by truly listening to what and how they’re saying things to you. Because some things aren’t really true..
A Coffee Shot 