I asked you guys what did you want me to write about
because I love writing things that people could actually relate to
plus, I love knowing the fact that my writings actually help at least one person out there.
I had a list up on my snapchat with several topics in it. And few of you chose “Anxiety”
Let’s jump right in:
First of all we should be aware that occasional anxiety is a normal part of our lives. It is totally ok to get worried, nervous or uncertain about things in our daily lives.
So when you feel anxious before presenting in front of people, or having your first job interview or maybe meeting new people…. It is normal to have that uneasy feeling that keeps you on your toes.
What is not normal is letting this feeling control your actions, your mind.. maybe let this feeling ruin opportunities for you for example you’d cancel an event just because you’re feeling anxious. Basically what is not normal is to let anxiety control your life.
What causes Anxiety?
I believe there are a lot of reasons that could cause someone to be anxious. From my point of view these are some of the things:
- The need to be accepted and related with our peers.
- On going job stress
- The need to have everything exactly as we want it to be
- Relationship conflicts
- Verbally or physically bulled/abused..
- The need for others approval in whatever that you’re doing… (family, friends or even complete strangers..
- The thought of not having your life under control.. (Your control)
Having Anxiety disorder is a serious thing that shouldn’t be ignored.
The difference between stress and anxiety is:
that when you’re stressed, there is an existing event that is causing you to be stressed.
But anxiety is the stress and worry you have even after the reason that caused you to start stressing is gone. An ongoing feeling even when there is no existing reason that is happening at the moment..
How to reduce/get over Anxiety?
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”
We mostly worry about either things that have happened and out of our control to fix.. Or things that have never happened and may never even happen…
- First of all you need to acknowledge the reasons that has gotten you into this state.
- So when you catch yourself going deeper with your thoughts; question them.. ask yourself why am I thinking like that? What am I going to get after all this thinking…can I act on it? can I change the situation.?
- Exercise/workout could really be a way of taking the stress off your system
- Calm yourself by realizing that nothing lasts forever. Whatever situation you’re in right now, will not last… So you’ll get through whatever you’re going through..
- Take a deep slow breath… maybe a couple will calm you down..
- Eating healthy could really reduce your anxiety.
- If you can’t change the situation, change the way you think about it. Try approaching it in a different point of view.
- Spend more time in the present moment.. I promise you, you have no control over tomorrow or yesterday. Now is all what you’ve got. (Sometimes we over worry about things that may or may not even happen.. But to spend all this time stressing out will only hurt us emotionally and mentally.
- Anxiety doesn’t change anything. It only messes with your mind and actually waste your time because it feels like you’re paralyzed.
- Reach out.. There are people there are willing to listen to you and help you out. Talk to them. it is ok to let it out trust me.
- Know that you’re not the only one who is going through a bad or stressful situation. We’re all facing things in our lives..
- Anxiety lies a lot… It makes you believe in things that aren’t even real..
- Your mind will play tricks on you.. This is why you should always stay focused and know what you’re thinking about. Be aware.. don’t let your mind wander around thinking about things you shouldn’t be thinking about… You control it; it’s not the other way around.
I am not here to tell you do those things and you’ll be anxiety free.. I am telling you that it is ok to worry, it ok to feel stressed out and nervous. But don’t let those feelings control you and control your reality and your present.
If you’re in school: I went through it all. I even spent my college years in 3 different universities. I am telling you if it’s exams, friends, or other irrelevant people aka bullies… You got to face it all because after graduation nothing will matter. It will end soon and you won’t even remember it. So take care of yourself, look after yourself and focus on your studies because that certificate is all you need. Everything else is replaceable.
If you’re in a workplace: Speaking as someone who spent around 5 years and ongoing in different workplaces. Listen, if you hate your job don’t over-think it. Just resign. This pressure you’ve got over your shoulder and the heaviness you feel when waking up in the morning could end…. Take a deep breath.. Start searching for a different job and just end the misery… The opportunities are endless. and if there is no chance.. You create it. No more excuses.
If you’re in a relationship/Marriage: Know how can you make it better. Having a partner should be a good thing to help you end the suffering, not cause you anxiety. You should be able to talk it out with your partner. Explain things to them and you both could find our the reasons why and the solution to it. no matter how small the situation if it’s making you worry and nervous don’t keep it in..Say whatever is on your mind.. keeping it all within you will not fix things between you two. And if it has nothing to do with your partner, at least speaking it to them could reduce your stress.
Family…. : There could be a lot of reasons why having anxiety could be caused by family. First of all there are studies that Anxiety could be genetic.. Other than that… One may feel anxious due the constant refusal from family members.. Whether it was a job you have, friends,. Especially parents for when they crush your dreams or make you feel as if you’re worthless.. or maybe they would neglect you or your needs. or underestimate you could truly cause anyone to be nervous.
I’d either talk to them about it and how whatever I am doing is really important to me and I’d appreciate their support.. Or nothing at all. To have someone constantly trying to bring you down and especially blood related could truly be a soul crusher.. But you have to be strong and protect your thoughts, dreams and reality.. Have a sit down and talk time.. Explain things to them and more on with your life. You cannot live your life waiting for everyones validations.. This is not how life works.
Don’t let anxiety be your lifestyle…